Surprises
by The Real JL Rules
Summary: It's Alfred Pennyworth's birthday, and Diana Wayne attempts the impossible. Meanwhile, the Kyle-Zataras search for godparents. Batman/Wonder Woman, Catwoman/Zatanna, plus other pairings. FEMSLASH and (limited) SWEARING.
1. Chapter 1

_DISCLAIMERS/NOTES_

_1. This is a fan fiction based on characters owned by DC Comics. I DO NOT OWN THEM. This is just for fun._

_2. This is partly a femslash story. If you don't like that sort of thing, you won't like this._

_3. This is a story request by The Sacred and Profane. Again, apologies for the time it took to complete._

* * *

PART 1

"Are you sure you won't help?"

The Batman grunted.

His wife sighed. "It's the last time I'm going to ask."

"Diana," Batman said, "it's a fool's errand."

Diana Wayne folded her arms. "So I'm a fool?"

Batman kept typing at the batcomputer. "If you think that's what I meant, who am I to correct you?"

Diana rolled her eyes. "Bruce, this is important! It only happens once a year. It's his birthday!"

At that, he stopped his fingers at the keyboard. It was times like this that he hated being reminded that time moves on... no matter what. Yes, it only happened once a year. And he knew... the times would become less and less. "Diana... "

Resting her hands on the back of his seat, the world-famous Wonder Woman looked down at her husband. "I have it all planned."

"I've heard that before," said Batman. "I've told you, you're not the first person to try this. Dick, Tim, Barbara... even Jason attempted it once. It's an impossible feat."

"Hera, Bruce, he's not telepathic!" Diana cried. "He can't know _everything_ that goes on in this house, or this cave!"

"You'd think not." Batman slowly turned his chair around to face his breathtakingly beautiful wife. "You can't surprise Alfred."

She rolled her eyes again. "Then maybe _he_ should be called Oracle."

Batman smirked. "I'll let _you_ tell Barbara her services are no longer required."

"I don't like being teased, Mr. Wayne," she said, narrowing her eyes. Batman could tell_ she _was teasing _him_ just as much.

"Of course not." He stroked his chin. "For argument's sake, _how_ would you do it?"

"You mean how _will_ I do it!" said Diana proudly. "I've got it set like clockwork. The boys and the twins will keep him busy while the girls and I get the hall set up. All the banners, balloons and presents are stashed away in there, and have been for days."

"How do you know he hasn't found them?"

Diana moved down and sat on his lap. "I've lived here for four years, darling - I know his cleaning timetable. I moved everything into the hall as soon as he finished his sweep of the place... he won't be back there for a another two weeks."

"Clever," said Batman, stroking his wife's thigh. "But you know there are security cameras covering every inch of the Manor."

"I've got that covered, too," she replied, wrapping her arms around his neck. "I made sure he was deep into cleaning another room before I made the switch. And on the day, Dick, Tim and the twins will keep him occupied... I even considered asking Barbara to cut the camera feed."

At that, the classic Batglare appeared. "Diana... "

She held up her hand to stop him. "I realised Alfred, like you, has a buzzer that alerts him to any change in the security system. It would've been for ten seconds anyway, _tops_. _And_ it would've been just the hall's cameras - the whole grounds wouldn't be blacked out. Hera, Bruce, you _know_ I wouldn't do that!"

Batman stung slightly. He _should_ have known that. Diana would never threaten security of the Manor or the cave... but due to his pigheadedness, he had nearly scolded her regardless. "I know. Sorry." Anyone else would have been smug at getting an _apology_ out of the Batman. Diana simply smiled lovingly. If she _did_ feel smug - and she probably did - she did not show it. "Hold on... " Batman suddenly said. "Ten seconds? How're you going to get the big hall prepared in... oh _no_." He glared again. "Diana... I told you not to invite every... "

"Don't be like that, Bruce!" she yelped. "You _know_ we owe Bart Allen big - he saved our daughter's life! He's welcome in our home anytime!"

It was his turn to roll his eyes. "Just don't invite the entire League. I only agreed to this on the condition you kept it small."

"Just close friends and family," said Diana. "Barbara, Dinah and Laurel, Dick and Koriand'r, Cassandra, Clark and Lois, Tim and... "

"Clark and Lois?" Bruce interrupted. "Why?"

At that, Diana suddenly looked embarrassed. "Er... I might have invited them... ?"

Again with the Glare.

"I couldn't help it!" whined the Amazon. "I was talking about it with Clark at the Watchtower, and... look, it was spur of the moment! I didn't think anything of it, but when Clark told Lois, she jumped at the chance!"

Bruce grunted. Of course she did. Lois took any opportunity to get an exclusive interview from billionaire recluse Bruce Wayne...

"I know what you're thinking," said his wife. "She's not going to put your secret identity in the _Planet_."

Bruce had to admit, he was surprised she had not reported on that when she found out. But then again, being married to Superman meant she was used to keeping that kind of secret...

"Zatanna and Selina will be there, too." Diana's expression went cool. "Eventhough you were rude to them."

Bruce knew this was coming. "Why are you always saying I'm rude?"

"Because you often _are_," scolded his wife. "I can't blame them. What you said was terrible."

"_All_ I said was... "

"They ask us to be godparents to their children," Diana continued, "And you tell them to ask someone else!"

He had trouble keeping his own temper. "I didn't _exactly_ say that... "

"No, that's right!" Diana cried. "I think 'You might want to have someone as a backup' were your exact words. _Really_, Bruce - that's a terrible thing to say! It's an honour to be asked to be godparents, and... "

"I was perfectly reasonable," said Bruce. "Besides, I didn't _decline_. I simply suggested that - with our lifestyle - they should consider having contingencies."

Diana looked exasperated. "You and your contingencies! And as for being 'perfectly reasonable', why does everything have to be so _logical_ with you? You treat everything like it's a military exercise."

Batman raised an eyebrow. "I don't recall being accused of that when I proposed."

Slowly, Diana warmed. He knew that would get to her. "That... that's different... "

He smirked.

Eventually, Diana sighed deeply. "_Look_... just... just... _oh_, just be nice. If it comes up, just say we _accept_. If you don't, _I_ will. Understand?"

"Completely," he said. "Anyway, I still have work to do. And you... well, you have a birthday party to plan."

"You're right." They sat there for a moment. "Er... are you going to let me go then?"

Smiling, Batman silently craned his neck up and kissed his wife. She returned the gesture as he again ran his hand along her thigh. When their lips seperated, he grinned. "Though if you ask me... you're treating this like a _military exercise_."

Diana groaned. "Shut up." Reluctantly, the two prised eachother apart. Getting to her feet, Diana took a moment to compose herself, then headed for the lift.

"Oh, and honey?"

She stopped at his voice and turned back to look at the back of his chair.

"It's a fool's errand."

She rolled her eyes a final time before leaving...

TO BE CONTINUED


	2. Chapter 2

_DISCLAIMERS/NOTES_

_1. This is a fan fiction based on characters owned by DC Comics. I DO NOT OWN THEM. This is just for fun._

_2. This is partly a femslash story. If you don't like that sort of thing, you won't like this._

_3. This is a story request by The Sacred and Profane. Again, apologies for the time it took to complete._

* * *

PART 2

Selina Kyle-Zatara gently closed the bedroom door, grimacing as the hatch clicked into place. Gritting her teeth, she paused long enough to check for any sound from the bedroom. Fortunately, she heard nothing. She then tiptoed into the lounge and closed that door as well. After she checked the baby monitors were on, she slumped into the easy chair with an almighty thump. "_Finally_!" she gasped.

Her wife looked at her from her horizontal position on the sofa. "They're asleep?" She was on the verge of being so herself.

Selina stared up at the ceiling, her head resting on the back of the chair. "I thought newborn kittens were hard work... but _fuck_... !"

"Lovely," Zatanna drawled. "Speaking of which, the litter trays need... "

"Not _now_," Selina sighed. "Can't move. You do it."

"Too tired."

"Magic them full."

"I'll assume that's fatigue talking," the magician said. The latter stages of Zatanna's pregnancy had been particularly hard, due to two dramatic incidents. The result was, towards the end, she had lost her magic. How was not known, but it was surmised her body had somehow given up her abilities to ensure the babies' survival. Whatever the reason, Zee was no longer magical. That said, she knew her powers would return eventually. It was not the first time she had been rendered powerless. But even if she remained so, the loss of her magic was an easy price compared to the quintuplets' lives.

Zatanna looked at her spouse. Despite being just as exhausted, Selina was still stunning. And as the Catwoman found it so in her, Zee found her wife being all breathy a major turn-on. Sadly, it was not the case now. Zatanna was too fatigued to do _anything_. She looked around the lounge. "This place... is in a right state." There were toys everywhere - ones for babies _and_ cats. Frankly, it was hard to tell what was what. "It's like Solomon Grundy's visited."

"Right now I don't even _care_ if I remember who that is," said Selina. "Are you _sure_ you can't you do a Mary Poppins?"

"_Yes_," Zee scolded. Besides, she knew now was not the time for tidying. She and Selina had something to discuss. "Selina... you know we need to... "

Selina appeared to perk up. "OK, I get the message... some workout sex coming up!"

Blushing, Zee was darted her head up. "Selina, no! _No_!" She suddenly calmed. "I... I mean... that's not what I meant."

Selina, who had already rolled off the chair and onto the floor and was slowly - tiredly? - crawling towards the magician, looked deflated. "Oh." Stopping a couple of feet away, she looked questioningly at Zatanna. "What did you mean, then?"

"You said we'd talk about who to choose as godparents," explained Zee.

"Oh. _That_." Selina dejectedly got to her feet and returned to the easy chair, while Zee lifted herself up and sat upright on the sofa. "There's nothing to talk about. We already decided."

Running her hand through her hair in a fruitless attempt to tidy it, Zee sighed again. "You know what Bruce said. We should... "

"I know _exactly_ what he said," Selina seethed. "Pompous bastard. Telling everyone what to do, as usual. Listen, Zee - what we _should_ do is ignore what he says. You know he's full of crap."

"I know, I know," said Zatanna. "Don't worry, I'm sure they're a lock-in. Diana was about to agree, before he spoke up. But he _did_ bring up a good point. It might not be a bad idea to have a backup plan."

"Backup godparents?" Selina asked. "Is there even such a thing?"

Zee shrugged. "No idea. I don't even know if they'd be officially recognised. Backup guardians, then - whatever."

Selina folding her arms. "Evenso, who do you suggest they be, Zatanna? Bruce and Diana was - or _were_, whatever - our only choice. It's not like our line of work gets us millions upon millions of friends. And I don't count your fanclub as 'friends'."

"I've told you about dissing my fanclub," Zee said, referring to the unofficial online group run by fans of her stage show. "It's bad enough you started posting threats to them."

"That's what they get for discussing ways to get you into bed," pouted Selina. Zee felt a headache coming on. One of the topics on the fanclub site was indeed how to "score" with the magician. At first, Selina had found it amusing - mainly because _she_ was the one actually sleeping with her. But when comments started getting more... _graphic_, describing _what_ they would do to Zatanna... Selina had gone into one of her rages again. She had even contacted the Oracle, demanding she send a virus into their system. Barbara politely declined.

And as for the "fat" comments during Zee's pregnancy...

"Look, I know we don't have many options," said Zatanna, trying to steer the conversion back on-topic. "Maybe I could ask one of the Leaguers... "

"Oh, _sure_," drawled Selina. "They'd be more than happy to do so... they've supported us _so well_ in the past, haven't they?"

The headache was now in full force. "We're not going _there_ again," the magician said. "I was thinking of the ones who _have_ supported us. J'onn, for example."

Selina's temper appeared to subside. "Look, Zee... I think we're missing the obvious. Barbara and Canary."

Zatanna bit her lip. This was what she was afraid of. She had been thinking about it for sometime... now she feared she had to _say_ something. "Well... the thing is... "

Selina looked confused. "What?"

Zee held her head. "Oh, Selina... you're going to think... " She did not know _what_ to say.

"Darling, what's wrong?" Selina's temper had completely gone now.

Looking down, Zee's hair fell and almost covered her face. "You're going to think... " By the time she cleared her bangs away, Selina had removed herself from the chair and was back on the floor, kneeling and facing the magician, their faces inches apart.

"Tell me what's wrong," the former burglar said. "Look, I'm sorry about bringing up your magic... I know y... "

"It's not that."

Selina stroked her cheek. "Then what? Is it about Babs and Canary? Have they done something to upset you?"

"No. But... you going to think I'm horrible... " Zee whispered.

"That's literally impossible," said Selina resolutely. "Honey, what is it? Tell me."

Sighing, Zee knew she had no choice. She just hoped Selina would not think she was a bitch. "All our friends... are _your_ friends."

Selina blinked. "Come again?"

Zee took her beloved's hand. "Our circle of friends basically consists of Bruce and Diana, their kids, Dinah and Barbara, _their_ child... and Holly. And we know them through _you_ knowing them."

"What are you saying, Zee?" Selina asked, rubbing her hand in hers.

"I bring _nothing_ to our social life," Zatanna grumbled. "John doesn't want to know me. Dr. Fate is less sociable than Bruce, which is saying something. Deadman's literally invisible to most people. The Marvel Family are mostly children." She left out the fact the Marvels were actually _all_ children. "You hate most of the League. I don't know _anyone_ who we can socialise with!"

"I get on with Xanadu... " Selina offered. "And I _don't_ hate the League - they hate _me_. Besides... how can you say you've brought nothing to our life? My darling, you gave us our _five children_!"

"That's different," Zee breathed. She looked at her wife, who had an expression of complete confusion on her face. "See? I _knew_ you'd be disgusted."

"I'm not disgusted, I'm just gobsmacked!" Selina tightened her grip on the magician's hand. "Zee, how long have you felt this way?"

Shrugging, Zee felt her eyes watering. "It's nothing I've ever been very bothered about. But with us choosing godparents... "

"I said before, Bruce and Diana were our only choice," said Selina. "Why didn't you say something before we asked them?"

"Because they _are_ the best choice," replied Zatanna. "It's just that... when Bruce suggested a backup... I thought maybe it could be a chance to choose someone from _my_ 'side' - only I don't have anyone."

Selina simply glared at her. "This is really upsetting you, isn't it?"

Silently, Zee tilted her head. She did not know that answer, to be honest. She would never base her personal worth on her amount of friends, but it _did_ grate on her that most of their friends, besides Bruce and Diana, had histories with Selina, but not her. Was it too much to ask for her to have someone to introduce her wife to, rather than vise versa? "I'm sorry... " whispered. "I'm just being selfish... "

Selina looked like she was about to cry herself. She pulled Zee closer and kissed her tenderly, then hugged her. "After nine months of agony, I think you're entitled to being selfish." She stroked Zatanna's hair lovingly. "OK, I'll do you a deal."

At first, Zee wanted to point out that she was not in agony for the _full_ nine months... Selina was referring more to herself. But her spouse's comment had got Zee's attention. "What do you mean?"

Pulling away, Selina rested her forehead against the magician's, stroking her cheek. "You can ask _whoever_ you want for backup godparents... or guardians, whatever. A Leaguer, another magician, a ghost, _anyone_."

"And in return?"

Smirking, Selina took a sigh. "You mentioned the litter trays... "

At that, Zatanna chuckled. Trust her wife to bring her out of her dour state. "Deal."

Selina wiped Zatanna's eyes clear of unshed tears. "You need to stop testing me like this, sweetheart. You _know_ I hate seeing you upset."

"I'm sorry," Zee said. "And I'll show you _how_ sorry later."

Selina kissed her again. "Actually, the litter trays can wait a little longer... " she breathed as she gently pushed Zee into the sofa...

TO BE CONTINUED


	3. Chapter 3

_DISCLAIMERS/NOTES_

_1. This is a fan fiction based on characters owned by DC Comics. I DO NOT OWN THEM. This is just for fun._

_2. This is partly a femslash story. If you don't like that sort of thing, you won't like this._

_3. This is a story request by The Sacred and Profane. Again, apologies for the time it took to complete._

* * *

PART 3

"I want to see Aunty Kory's dress!"

Dick Grayson smiled at his "niece'"s demand. "Faith, I told you - we haven't got the dress here."

"Then I want to come with you!" the little girl pouted. "I want to see Aunty Kory in her coronation dress." Smirking, Dick ruffled Faith's hair, which caused her to yelp. "Hey, cut it out!"

"Get 'im, Faith," Tim Drake called from the other side of the room. He was sitting on the floor with the girl's twin brother, Thomas. They were playing cards.

"It's your go, Uncle Tim," said Thomas.

As Tim returned to the game, Dick was struggling to keep Faith at bay. "You can't fuzz my hair, Uncle Dick - I'm an Amazon!" She lunged at the first Robin, who darted back.

"Whoa, take it easy, princess!" he chuckled. He was literally holding her at arm's length. Faith began to giggle as she swung at empty air.

"Oh _no_!" exclaimed Thomas. As the other three looked at him, he showed them the card he had picked. "Joker," he said with disgust. He threw the card over his shoulder.

"Guess that's the end of that game," grinned Tim. He got to his feet and checked his watch. "Wonder how the girls are doing."

"Yeah, I want the party!" Thomas said. It was only a matter of hours before Alfred's surprise party was scheduled. Not that either Dick or Tim believed it would work. Both had tried in the past: nothing got past the butler. Diana was _dreaming_ if she thought she could pull it off. There were some things even Wonder Woman could not do.

"I checked earlier," said Dick. "Babs and Dinah are here, and Kory, obviously. They're having girl talk while waiting for us to take Alfred out. Speaking of which, we should probably get going."

"I'll check if Alfred's ready," Tim said. They had arranged for Alfred to take the children for a walk, and Dick and Tim would tag along. "And while I do that," Tim continued, looking at the twins, "You guys need to go to the bathroom."

"But _Tiiiiiiiiiiim_... " the children moaned in unison.

"Now, kids," Dick stated. "We don't want you complaining you need to go when we're out." Faith and Thomas drudged out of the playrooom, grumbling as they went. Dick then looked at Tim. "You're not _really_ gonna check on Alfred, are you?"

"Course not," said Tim. "We both know we can set Alfred to the second. He'll be down any minute now. How long are we to keep him out the house?"

"Babs will call us on a secure line when they're nearly done," replied Dick. "Though with Impulse, I can't imagine it'll take long."

"Got that right," smiled Tim. "He doesn't know the meaning of the word 'slow'. Anyway... does Diana still think Alfred's none the wiser?"

"Yep," Dick nodded.

"Do _you_ think he is?"

"We know from bitter experience that the chances of this working are slim," said Dick. "That reminds me: did Damian ever try this?"

"As if," Tim snorted. "That would require giving a crap about someone else."

Nodding knowingly, Dick sighed. "When are the others getting here?"

"Ariana will get here once she finishes her courses for the day," Tim answered. "Cass called earlier, simply saying a number. And Steph will be with her."

"Will Steph be alright being in the same room with Ariana?" asked Dick.

"Steph insisted," Tim said, sounding surprised. "She swore blind it wouldn't be a pro... "

"Done!" came two young voices.

Turning to the door, Dick and Tim saw the twins standing there, already with their jackets on. "Where's Alfred?" demanded Faith. "Let's go!"

"I'm right here, young lady," came the reserved voice halfway down the stairs. Alfred was approaching, clad in his typical outdoor coat and hat. "Where do you wish to go today?" The butler's walks with the twins was quite a recurring thing: Diana's reasoning was that he would not suspect anything out of the ordinary. From his point of view, the Amazon assumed, Alfred would simply see it as a special birthday walk.

"Come on, Alfred!" screamed Thomas, as both children grabbed him by a hand and led him towards the main Manor door. "This'll be fun!"

As they heard the front door open and the young voices fade into the distance, Dick and Tim got their jackets. "Do the kids realise Diana's using them as a distraction?" asked Dick.

"It was their idea," said Tim. "They're smart for their age."

"Must be that Amazon wisdom," Dick said.

"How is Thomas an Amazon?" exclaimed Tim.

Dick paused. "... good point," he eventually said. As the two followed in Alfred and the kids' footsteps out the house, Dick put his hand to his ear. "This is N. You're good to go."

"This is O.," came the electronic response. "Understood. Not that it'll work."

Dick chuckled. "Don't tell WW that. N. out." Several yards infront of them, Alfred was doing the regular walk route around the large estate, with a child by each hand. Thomas was sensibly staying on the ground, while Faith - seemingly still excited - was hovering a few feet in the air. "Speaking of kids," Dick said to Tim, "the K-Z's are bring the quints, right?"

"As far as I know," said the current Robin. "Can you believe Bruce's response to being a godparent?"

Dick grinned. "Yep. But if anyone can turn him around, it's Diana. I tell you, forget heroics: telling _him_ off is what makes her Wonder Woman."

At that, both erupted into laughter...

TO BE CONTINUED

* * *

Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays, everyone!


	4. Chapter 4

_DISCLAIMERS/NOTES_

_1. This is a fan fiction based on characters owned by DC Comics. I DO NOT OWN THEM. This is just for fun._

_2. This is partly a femslash story. If you don't like that sort of thing, you won't like this._

_3. This is a story request by The Sacred and Profane. Again, apologies for the time it took to complete._

* * *

PART 4

"You've got to be kidding me."

Zatanna looked horrified. "You said I could choose _anyone_."

Selina stared at her. "But... _them_? Zatanna... I never in a million years would have guessed you'd pick... "

"It's my decision," Zee said, folding her arms and sticking her nose in the air. "You promised."

At that, Selina giggled. "Aw, don't be angry, baby," she said, stroking her wife's cheek. "If that's who you want, then that's who'll we'll ask."

Zee's face softened. "Like I said, Bruce and Di are a shoe-in. It's just a backup."

"I think I've heard that term more in two days than I have my whole life," said Selina. "Now... are you _sure_?"

"Yep," grinned Zatanna. "I made a list, and they came up tops." She waved a piece of paper around.

"Can I see who else you thought of?"

Zee handed Selina the paper. "Sure." As Selina began looking it over, Zee suddenly froze. "Wait... no... _no_!"

As her eyes panned the paper, Selina stopped and glared. "What's _he_ doing on the list?" All fun had gone from her tone. Zatanna knew why, and could tell Selina was suddenly full of boiling rage.

"Honey, it's just a list... "

"You actually considered _Green Arrow_ to look after our children?" yelled the former thief. She was firing daggers from her eyes at the magician.

"No!" cried Zee. "I just... "

"How _COULD YOU_?" came the interrupting scream. "You _know_ what he did! He... he... !" To Zee's astonishment, her wife was nearly hyperventilating. But Zee knew she should have expected this. It was an incident that still plagued Selina.

"Darling, I wasn't thinking!" whined Zatanna. "I just wrote down everyone I knew, and I automatically added him! As soon as I realised, I crossed him off! Selina, you _know_ I'd never... "

"It's _his_ fault I... " Selina suddenly clapped her mouth shut. Breathing heavily, the list crunched in her fist, Selina stared a hole through her spouse.

Zee felt awful. How could she be so thoughtless? But at the same time... she knew Selina was being unreasonable. It was in the past. They had to move on - and Zee thought they had done so. "Selina... listen to me! He was never a consideration! It was just an automatic thing. I _promise_."

Selina appeared to minutely calm. "Really?"

Stroking the Catwoman's cheek, Zee sighed. "Selina... just stop and calm down."

She seemed to take the advice. Selina closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Dammit... " she whispered. Looking at Zee again, all the anger had gone. "You're right. I'm... I'm sorry, Zee. I should've known." She gently took her wife's hand and removed it from her face. "Forgive me?"

"Always," breathed Zatanna. "Are you OK?"

"Yeah, sure," Selina said, smiling slightly. "Anyway... I'm going to go wake the kids. Their naptime is over. Besides, we don't want to be late for Alfred's party." Before Zee could respond, Selina turned and walked out the room.

Zatanna stood there. She was not expecting that... or was she? She knew how her wife felt about Ollie. It would take time for her to come to terms with what happened. Sighing again, Zee decided to let it go for now, and help Selina wake the children. She followed in her footsteps out the door... and stopped dead at the sight that met her.

Selina had not even made it halfway to the kids' bedroom. She was standing motionless in the lounge, looking at the floor. Zee's heart broke. She knew exactly what was going on. The Catwoman was no longer angry over Ollie... she was thinking back to what happened. To that day at the Watchtower. Zatanna clenched her jaw. She did not realise it still troubled Selina _this_ much.

Approaching her spouse, Zatanna slowly turned her around until they were face-to-face. Selina's eyes were full of unshed tears. "Hey... come here... " Zee soothed, as she pulled her wife gently into an embrace. Silently, Selina hugged her back, resting her head on her shoulder.

"I'm sorry... " Selina was barely audible.

"There's nothing to be sorry about," said Zatanna. "Baby... I thought we talked about this. It wasn't your fault... "

"I know... but... " Selina sighed, and Zee thought she noticed a bit of a sniffle mixed in. "Just... I just need a little more time... "

"I understand," said Zee. "But darling... " She manoeuvred Selina so they were looking at eachother. "It was an _accident_. You must remember that." Selina numbly nodded. Smiling sweetly, Zatanna wiped her beloved's eyes. "You gonna be OK, my pussycat?" she asked quietly.

Chuckling softly, Selina took her wife's hand again and kissed her knuckles. "Yeah... I will be."

"Shall we go wake the children?"

"In a minute," Selina breathed. She then wrapped her arms around Zatanna's neck, resuming their cuddle. They held eachother in silence for a long time...

TO BE CONTINUED


	5. Chapter 5

_DISCLAIMERS/NOTES_

_1. This is a fan fiction based on characters owned by DC Comics. I DO NOT OWN THEM. This is just for fun._

_2. This is partly a femslash story. If you don't like that sort of thing, you won't like this._

_3. This is a story request by The Sacred and Profane. Again, apologies for the time it took to complete._

_4. IMPORTANT: This chapter features the debut of my first OC (discounting the children, of course), Eagle. I figured, with Batman and Wonder Woman now married, there should be an Amazon in Birds of Prey. And since I couldn't think of an established, appropriate Themysciran to put in the team, I came up with my own: Eagle, AKA Etosa. Don't worry, though - she won't feature prominently. She's strictly background (for now)._

* * *

PART 5

Barbara Gordon-Lance waved her hands, pointing as she did so. "A little to the left."

Diana frowned. "Which left?" She looked over at Kory Grayson, who was holding the other end of the large banner.

"Your left," Barbara clarified. Following the instruction, Diana and Kory floated over with the Happy Birthday banner until Babs held her palm up. "Right there," she said. "That's in the middle." With that, the two flyers attached the banner to the wooden beam crossing the big hall. "Perfect," Babs smiled.

"The whole thing is perfect," Kory said with glee. All around the hall were balloons and smaller banners, with a large table against the room's window, where the massive cake and presents were. Alfred had already opened some gifts in the morning, but as everyone knew, they could never give him enough. As far as they were concerned, the butler deserved all this and more.

"Can you check in with them please, Barbara?" asked Diana.

The Oracle put her hand to her ear. "This is O. Status report," she whispered. She was answered with a cough. "They're on the final bit," she said. Dick answering with coughs meant Alfred was near enough to hear him. One cough meant the Englishman and the children were on the final leg of their walk. They would be back in the Manor soon. The boys had clearly been unable to make the walk longer than usual.

"We're good to go, right?" asked Barbara's wife Dinah.

"I think so," sighed Diana as she reached the floor and ran a hand through her hair. She looked around the hall. Nearly everyone was here. Kory had helped her hang the banners, Dinah had busied herself blowing the balloons, and Cassandra Cain, Stephanie Brown and Ariana Dzerchenko had arranged the table. It was surprising how well Steph and Ariana were getting along. Tim's ex-girlfriend seemed to have no problem with his first-and-once-again spouse.

Meanwhile, Bart Allen and Etosa were keeping the children entertained. Anyone else would have had trouble keeping six young ones in order, but if anyone could, it was Impulse and Eagle. And their work was far from done: along with the Kyle-Zatara quintuplets and Barbara and Dinah's daughter Laurel, they would soon be joined by Joel Kent, and obviously Faith and Thomas when they returned.

Selina and Zatanna had largely kept to themselves once they arrived with their babies. They had offered their assistance, obviously, but once it became clear all the work was being handled, the Kyle-Zataras stuck to the sidelines, holding eachother close and showering eachother with affection.

And Barbara had overseen the whole thing. Though the entire day was planned by Diana, Babs had coordinated who was where, doing what and when. It was a good thing Snapper Carr had recently been drafted in to help her with her Oracle duties. Otherwise, the Justice League would have been left a shambles. Still, few heroes would have complained had they known it was Alfred Pennyworth's birthday.

Barbara sighed. "Is there anything we've missed?"

Dinah bent down and hugged her wife from behind. "I doubt it. Relax, honey." She kissed the redhead's hair. "We've done a great job."

"Indeed you have."

Everyone turned to see Bruce at the doorway. "Any luck?" Diana asked.

Sighing, Bruce went over and put his hand on his wife's shoulder. "Afraid not. Of all days, she's laid up with a cold."

"That's a shame," Diana said as she leaned closer and rested her head on his shoulders. "Like what we've done?"

"It's great," Bruce said as he looked up at the main Happy Birthday sign. "But that banner is off-centre by two inches."

"Screw you," said Barbara, as Dinah guffawed.

Kory went upto them. "I hate to bring this up, but... "

"What's wrong?" asked Diana.

Folding her arms, Kory lowered her head. "Are we sure we're not going to... _well_, surprise Alfred _too_ much?"

Bruce instantly frowned, but Diana spoke before he could do so himself. "Don't worry. We're not going to scream 'Surprise!' The children will lead him here, as calmy as they can."

"Which won't be calm at all!" Etosa yelled from the children's playmat.

As Diana frowned at the young Amazonian, Bruce smiled. "Besides, Kory, there's no risk. He'll kno... "

"Don't make me tell you to shut up again, Mr. Wayne," interrupted Diana. At that, the whole room began laughing.

"'Again'? That means we've missed it once." That proclamation signalled the arrival of the final guests.

"Clark, Lois!" Diana squealed as she rushed to them. "Thank you for coming!"

Clark Kent smirked at Bruce, as his and Lois' son Joel glided over to the playmat. "I'm sure we're more than welcome, eh?" the Kryptonian said. Bruce just rolled his eyes.

"We didn't know what to get him," said Lois, as she handed a wrapped gift out to Diana. "We hope it's OK."

"I'm sure it'll be super," Diana said with a grin as she took the present and put it on the table with the others. "We're just happy you made... "

"_Wait_!" Barbara suddenly yelled, as she put her hand to her ear again. "They're nearly here!"

TO BE CONTINUED


	6. Chapter 6

_DISCLAIMERS/NOTES_

_1. This is a fan fiction based on characters owned by DC Comics. I DO NOT OWN THEM. This is just for fun._

_2. This is partly a femslash story. If you don't like that sort of thing, you won't like this._

_3. This is a story request by The Sacred and Profane. Again, apologies for the time it took to complete._

* * *

PART 6

"Come on Alfred!" Thomas was practically dragging the butler towards the big hall.

"Was the walk not enough?" he asked as the twins led him to the doorway. He turned his head to look at Dick and Tim, who both tried their best to look confused. Turning back to the children, his tone turned slightly harsh. "Now see here, young Sir and Miss, you'll tear my sleeves... !"

Ignoring the Englishman, Faith and Thomas continued leading him to the hall. "We want to play," Faith said. "Play spy games like when you were in the secret service!"

Sighing, Alfred shook his head and chuckled. "In the big hall... ?" Meanwhile, Dick and Tim braced themselves...

The twins released Alfred and opened the big doors to the hall...

Alfred's eyes widened at the sight that met him. His entire surrogate family were there, glasses in hand, with birthday banners hanging from the ceiling. "Happy birthday, Alfred," Bruce said, as everyone else raised their drinks.

"Oh my... !" Alfred stammered. "What is this? You... you've... oh my." He paused and took a deep breath. He then looked down at the two grinning Wayne children. "You little rascals... !" Faith and Thomas giggled. "I don't know what to say!" Alfred continued, looking at everyone before him. "Thank you."

"This is your special day, Alfred," said Diana. "_This_ lot said it was impossible, but I wanted to throw you a surprise party. We love you, Alfred, and this is a small token of gratitude for all you do."

"Well played, Your Highness," Alfred said as Diana kissed him on the cheek. "I'm honoured."

"We hope you like it," Babs said as she wheeled to them.

Alfred looked around at the table laid with more presents and a massive cake. "'Like' would be an understatment, Ma'am. I'm speechless."

"Don't say anything, Alfred," Bruce said, putting his arm around his lifelong friend's shoulder. "Just enjoy yourself."

"But we still want to play spies at some point!" yelped Faith.

Two hours later, the party was in full swing. Not that it was rowdy or anything: some classical music in the background, with the room full of chatter. Alfred had opened his additional gifts, and the cake was being greedily consumed by all concerned. The children were playing quietly on the mat, while Dinah handled the drinks... in more ways than one.

"So when's the day?" Clark asked Dick and Kory.

"We leave in two weeks," said Kory with a hint of fear in her voice. "The journey will take a few days, so we're very busy finalising everything."

"But Alfred's birthday allowed us a slight rest," Dick smiled.

"I still can't believe it!" Lois said. "In two weeks you leave for another planet... become king and queen of a rebuilt civilisation... and I can't tell _anyone_."

Clark smirked. "The price you paid for marrying me, dear," he said.

"Can't I at least report it as 'Nightwing and Starfire Leave Earth'?" pleaded Lois.

The Graysons looked at eachother. "We'll... think about it," Dick eventually replied.

Lois grumbled. "I've heard _that_ enough times."

Clark put his hand on Dick's shoulder. "I don't know if I'll get the chance again, so I'll say it now: I know you'll do a wonderful job. Tamaran couldn't ask for better monarchs."

Kory blushed. "Thank you, Kal."

"That means alot to hear you say that," Dick added.

"And if you ever need anything, I'm just a spaceflight away," Clark said.

Dick snorted. "Only in our line of work could spaceflight be mentioned so casually."

Selina and Zatanna then approached them. "Excuse us," Zee said. "Are we interrupting?"

"Not at all," said Dick. He then looked between Clark and Selina. "Hang on. Do you... "

"It's OK," said Selina, smirking at the Kents. "I know... well, I know why Mr. Kent wears glasses."

Clark sighed. Selina had known his identity for a few months now. Zatanna had certainly not told her: the magician respected all her colleagues' secrets. Instead, Selina had found out via Thomas. During a visit by the Kyle-Zataras to the Manor, Selina had gone down to the Batcave for a workout, only to find the twin at the batcomputer. Coincidently, he had got up to go the bathroom just as Selina went close enough to make out what was on the computer screen. She was going to ignore it, but a cursary glance at the screen saw Thomas had been in a chat session with Joel Kent... and Selina had unwittingly noticed Superman being mentioned. Specifically, the Man of Steel being mentioned by Joel as "Dad". Just like that, the Catwoman knew Superman's secret identity.

Thomas had been devastated when he came back and realised what had happened. He did not need a telling off from his parents to know what he had done. Since then, the young boy had been extremely careful when it came to the "family business" - much like his father. Still, Selina - and even Clark - had told Thomas not to feel _too_ guilty. Selina had been married to a Justice Leaguer for over three years. Her trustworthiness was not an issue anymore... for most Leaguers, anyway.

"Yet more... heroes," Lois said - narrowing her eyes slightly at Selina. "Clark, I'm sitting on a dozen Pulitzers here."

As Clark shook his head, Zatanna cleared her throat. "Er, Clark, Lois... can Selina and I have a word... in private... ?"

TO BE CONTINUED


	7. Chapter 7

_DISCLAIMERS/NOTES_

_1. This is a fan fiction based on characters owned by DC Comics. I DO NOT OWN THEM. This is just for fun._

_2. This is partly a femslash story. If you don't like that sort of thing, you won't like this._

_3. This is a story request by The Sacred and Profane. Again, apologies for the time it took to complete._

* * *

PART 7

"You've got to be kidding me."

Selina folded her arms. "That's what _I_ said."

Zatanna glared at her wife and pouted. She then turned back to the Kents. "We... er... realise this is unexpected, but... "

"Unexpected?" Lois spoke again. "_That's_ an understatement! Why on Earth would you choose _us_ as godparents?" She glanced back at Clark, who looked as shocked as his wife.

Zatanna sighed. "I think I should clarify - we're asking you to be _backup_ godparents... or guardians, whatever. We originally asked Bruce and Diana, but Bruce all but turned us down... "

"He did?" Clark asked. "I know he doesn't like to be too chummy, but he said _no_?"

"We're sure Wonder Woman will have a word," Selina said. "Probably already has. Anyway, that's why you'll be, for lack of a better term, a backup."

"Yes, Bruce brought up a good point," continued Zee. "With our line of work, anything can happen. It never hurts to have alternatives. Um, no offence."

"None taken," assured Clark.

"You _do_ know Clark is Superman, _right_?" huffed Lois. "I know more than anyone else it's hardly the most hazard-free job in the world."

"Lois, Clark," said the magician. "Believe me, I've thought about this hard. I truly can't think of two couples I'd want more to look after our children should something... " She paused and looked at Selina. The ex-thief frowned. She hated even the _idea_ of Zatanna being hurt - or worse - in the line of duty. "Well... you know. Besides, Clark, you've stood up for us many times." Indeed, whenever the grievences or digs at the Kyle-Zataras had gotten particularly grating, Superman had felt the need to intervene. And when the Man of Steel speaks, even the most cynical Leaguer tends to listen. "You have no idea what that meant to us... to _me_," Zee finished.

Clark stood there, eyes wide. "Zatanna... I'm honoured. I had no idea... I was just trying to help you."

"And you did," said Zee. "That's why I'm asking you to, if needed, care for our children." She smiled hopefully at the Kents.

Lois' hardened expression softened slightly. It was well-known she did not particularly care for Selina. She had reported many times on the Catwoman's crimes, and even been held hostage by her at one point - though that was actually just a ruse to stop a Poision Ivy plot, but still... But for Selina's wife to ask them to, if need be, raise their children meant they trusted them deeply. Despite her reservations, Lois could not help but feel touched. She looked at the burglar... _former_ burglar. "And you 're fine with this?"

Selina looked at her resolutely. "I was as shocked as you," she said. "But Zee's right - Superman... " She stopped and smirked. "... _Clark_ has helped alot with the League's acceptance of us. _I_ couldn't care less what other think, but it's meant alot to my Zee, and that's what matters."

With that, Zee gave Selina a gooey face. "Oh, darling... " In response, Selina took her wife's hand and kissed her knuckles.

Lois melted at that. "W... we... we'll... think about it." She had to leave before her hardened exterior crumbled. "Th... thank you for asking. Come on, Clark." She took her husband's hand and started to lead him away.

Clark leaned closer to the Kyle-Zataras even as he was dragged. "Don't worry," he winked, "we accept. Thank you." Before he could get another word out, Lois pulled him away from the beaming Selina and Zatanna...

TO BE CONTINUED


	8. Chapter 8

_DISCLAIMERS/NOTES_

_1. This is a fan fiction based on characters owned by DC Comics. I DO NOT OWN THEM. This is just for fun._

_2. This is partly a femslash story. If you don't like that sort of thing, you won't like this._

_3. This is a story request by The Sacred and Profane. Again, apologies for the time it took to complete._

* * *

PART 8

Bruce looked around the hall. He was still amazed at how much his life had changed.

And he had Diana to thank.

Having spent pretty much all his life in darkness, it took an Amazon princess to bring it into the light. He was thankful every day that he had finally been convinced to let Diana into his life, and his heart. She was undoubtedly the best thing that ever happened to him.

The rest followed swiftly. With his wife as a "guiding light", Bruce had noticed how his extended family had grown around him. Tim was back with Ariana. Barbara had found happiness with her top agent. Dick and Kory, after years of unease, had married... and would soon be gone. That additional fact stung Bruce just as much as their marriage had warmed him.

Bruce turned his gaze to the playmat. Just as astonishing to him was the way children had multiplied in his life. There was Faith and Thomas, obviously - and his love for his twins was beyond words. Children was literally the last thing he ever expected. They had brought feelings he thought had been destroyed so long ago. He could not imagine his life without them.

And they were just the start. Barbara and Dinah's little girl, Laurel, was proving to be just as headstrong as her parents. Joel Kent was something of an oddity: he had definitely inherited more of his mother's tendancies than his father's. Bruce smirked at the thought of Clark losing arguments with his wife _and_ son.

Then there were the quintuplets. In a way, the most surprising of all. They were the culmination of Selina's turn to the side of good. Like most, Bruce had been wary when she begun a relationship with Zatanna. As much as he wanted the Catwoman to turn over a new leaf... he had been burned by her a few too many times. It took a _long_ time for him to realise her intentions were true. Of course, Diana helped in that regard: she pushed Bruce to let go of his paranoia and trust more. Sometimes, it helped when the Batman took a hands-off approach.

Bruce had noticed over the past three years how much Selina had changed. She was clearly very much in love with the magician. The former thief had changed so much since she and Zatanna became a couple. Much more outwardly caring, considerate... and affectionate. She was never like that when she was with him. Not that they were ever together for long periods of time, but Bruce could tell Selina loved Zee in a way she never loved him... if she ever truly did. And children was the ultimate expression of her new outlook. That said, Bruce was shocked that Zatanna had had _five_ babies... trust the Catwoman's wife to have a litter.

Bruce was brought out of his musings by his wife's hand taking his. "I told you I'd do it."

"Indeed," Bruce said.

"So where's my congratulatory kiss?"

Bruce raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

Diana smirked. "Darling - he had _no_ idea. You could tell by his reaction. Congratulate me for succeeding where you, Dick and Tim have failed."

At that, Bruce felt bad. "I've... never actually tried to throw Alfred a party."

Diana frowned. "Bruce... I know the situation was hardly ideal... but surely at some point... "

"There was work to do," said Bruce. As much as he hated to admit it... he never had the time to socialise - even with the man who raised him.

Diana was silent. Bruce knew that _she_ knew that talking about his youth would only lead to more brooding. Not that they had never discussed it... but now was not the time. "By the way," she said with a sigh. "I talked with Zee and Selina. We're definitely the godparents. I accepted on your behalf."

"That's fine," Bruce said. "Did they say anything about a contingency?"

"Please don't use that word," said Diana. "And yes, they did - though they didn't mention _who_ they'd picked."

"Probably Barbara and Dinah," said Bruce.

"Makes sense," replied the Amazon. "You'll be leaving soon, I presume?"

Bruce looked out the window. The sun was setting. "Soon. But I'm sure you have everything in hand." Bruce watched as Alfred joined Impulse and Etosa in playing with the children. Amazingly, Bart had not caused chaos. It seemed he was finally maturing. Meanwhile, Dinah was pawing all over Barbara. Dick and Kory were talking with Tim and Ariana. And Clark and Lois...

Bruce frowned again. Where _were_ the Kents? A shiver went down Bruce's spine. If they were fooling around in _his_ house... !

For that matter, where were Selina and Zatanna? The idea of _them_ fooling around did not annoy him, mind...

"Bruce, Diana... have you a moment?"

Once again Bruce's thoughts were interrupted, this time by Stephanie and Cassandra. "Of course," Diana said to the two young women who had approached them.

"What's wrong?" Bruce could tell from their body language that something was up.

Freezing for a moment, Steph glanced at Cassandra. "We... er... we have something to... that is... "

Rolling her eyes, Cass reached for Steph's hand and gripped tightly. "We're steady," the trained assassin said simply.

"Cass!" yelped Steph, while Diana grinned. Bruce raised an eyebrow.

"That's wonderful!" said Diana. "How long?"

"Erm... about a year... ?" Steph stammered.

"You've certainly kept that quiet," Bruce responded.

Putting her hand on her husband's shoulder, Diana smiled. "Why tell us now and not earlier?"

"Well, erm... " Steph paused.

Cassandra sighed. "Insecurities."

"_Cass_... " hissed the blonde.

Bruce knew what Cass meant. Stephanie was always seeking approval, either from her father, Tim or the Batman himself. But she was old enough now to not have to explain herself. In fact, he was impressed she had managed to keep something so important secret for so long.

"Don't be silly," soothed Diana. "You have no need to feel so intimidated. _Right_, Bruce?"

"Absolutely," Bruce said sincerely. "We're happy for you."

Steph smiled wide. "Thank you, sir." At that, Cass rolled her eyes again, before kissing Steph's cheek.

"Awww," Diana sighed. "Young love."

Bruce shook his head. Today was full of surprises...

TO BE CONTINUED


End file.
